New Year, New Trader Joe’s Snack Reviews

Pizza Bread Cheese
I’ve encountered Scandinavian bread cheese at various Midwest farmers markets where sellers will give you oozy, grilled cheese samples on toothpicks cooked right there on a George Foreman. Irresistible! It’s slightly squeaky, like Halloumi, with a spotty brown, bread-like crust, hence the name. Trader Joe was like, let’s make it PIZZA-FLAVORED, because he knows his audience. Slice it, put it on bread, and slam it into the toaster oven. Six minutes later it’s melted, bubbly, browned, and satisfying that after-school-pizza-bagel craving.

Frozen

Kalua Pork Spring Rolls
These pork spring rolls have so much fake smoke flavoring that I googled “liquid smoke cancer?” and found out that it’s less carcinogenic to eat smoke-flavored foods than to eat smoked foods. How about that!